Maintaining a Healthy Marriage during High Stress Court Cases for University
By Alan Manly
Maintaining a healthy relationship during times of high stress can be testing for many couples.
My wife and I found this out ourselves in court when a fraudster took me on a 10 year court battle. After 200 court appearances (including representing myself at the High Court of Australia), I finally won. However keeping the stress out of our relationships during that time was trying.
- Maintain your commitment
Have a genuine commitment to each other first and foremost. Relationships are fraught with conflict at the best of the times and withstanding shocks from external sources will rock that commitment. Be prepared and preferably have a long history of working through things together. Remain trusting and committed to staying by each other's side.
- Provide distractions & have a life
During a time of high stress, it's important to provide a home environment in which there are some escape mechanisms from the day to day problems of the court battle. A weekend away, dinner with friends, quality family time and exercise are ways to keep your mind fresh and focused on what's important, and what you're ultimately fighting for.
- Know that you're not unique
It's an unfortunate fact that no matter how you think you have protected yourself, anyone can be taken for a legal ride. It really can happen to you. If you both can understand this then you won't feel so victimised and have a better chance at keeping your relationship intact.
- Believe in the cause
You have to both believe you are right. During a court case there will be times of doubt as lawyers or your opposition try to prove their case – you must have 100% belief that you are in the right. Potentially no one else will.
- Communicate openly
During any court battle there will no doubt be times of high stress. Just remember that your partner is by your side helping you through it. Make regular time to talk to each other about the case, your feelings, and any fears as they arise. Listen to each other and know that you're in this together.
About Alan Manly
Alan Manly represented himself in a 10 year court battle that comprised over 30 cases, over 250 court appearances journeying from the North Sydney Local Court, to the District Court, Supreme Court, Federal Magistrates Court, Federal Court of Australia, and finally before a full bench of the High Court of Australia where he was successful. He is still married and wrote the book 'When There Are Too Many Lawyers ... There Is No Justice' (AU$24.95) based on his experiences, which is now available at book stores, Amazon and at www.whentherearetoomanylawyers.com.au